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Anaheim: Home of Walt Disney’s Frozen Head

The Orange County Register. It’s a real newspaper. It’s not an alt-weekly (sorry, JR). It’s not a fan site. It’s not a blog like this one. No, it’s a real, honest-to-goodness legitimate newspaper.

Yet somehow, somebody’s editor let someone publish this.

Going point by point, this is what Jeff Miller – a real journalist – has to say about Nashville, which he calls “Trashville”…which is really the only part of the piece that has anything to do with Nashville:

  • Hee Haw wasn’t funny.
  • Hee Haw wasn’t funny.
  • Shoney’s sells fried food.
  • A person who was not a country singer was not a member of a country music organization.
  • Nashvillians have no teeth.
  • Apparently, Tennessee is in Alabama.
  • The Titans have never won a Super Bowl.
  • Jim Varney was annoying.
  • This article brought to you by Extenze
  • The old Country Music Hall of Fame didn’t have plumbing.
  • Cracker Barrel is cluttered.
  • Billy Ray Cyrus is a singer.
  • Miley Cyrus was once photographed with a fat man.

That’s it. Big setup, no finish. Jim Rome has one rule for his callers – have a take and don’t suck. Mr. Miller, you neither had a take nor lacked suckage.

Of course, you expect a response…so here is your response…

The top reasons that Nashville is better than Anaheim…

  • Anaheim’s top employer is rodent-based.
  • The following institutions of higher-learning are located in the city of Anaheim:
  • Walt Disney’s frozen head is rumored to be buried at center ice of the Honda Center.
  • Your mascot accidentally set himself on fire. Seriously.
  • Your football team left for the friendlier confines of East St. Louis.
  • Finally, this is Anaheim’s most famous native…Rebecca, when is Game 2?

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